the deeper resonances

In retrospect he finds it hard to believe he was actually capable of giving life... remote the more he thinks about it. The life force that seems to come of its own accord, free of premeditation or constraints. He wishes it was infectious, her vitality, her confidence, her devotion but knows she's paying a price she can’t afford. If anything, he has to give her more. He has to find a way.

remember me

don't know what's more important. memory or substance. as in, what do i remember in my conversation with my mother vs. what were we really talking about. and then, let's not forget this other dynamic that gets in the way. huh? the question? why? where? was i there? were you? love, love, love. that's what i keep reminding myself. all about love.

no brainer

what is it like to grow old. old beyond your time. older than you ever thought you were capable of being. so old. how can this be? because it's never in the conventional sense. it's not about growing old, it's about being, believing or not. it's about not being afraid of being alone. it's about losing. all that loss. and then, nothing. is that what we're supposed to become accustomed to? no matter how many times, how many ways, how unspeakable, how unpredictable it may be, we'll never get used to it.

reality check

forget the paycheck. time for a reality check. to check in
and see what's really going on.

1. am i doing what i really want to be doing with my life?

2. if not, how can i redirect?

3. and with all that excess energy from doing what I want, how can
I help someone else do...whatever.

what if we were, no, are happy? what if...

Pentimento

inspire me

thought i'd never look to government for inspiration
but today i think of the possibilities. intellect,
diplomacy, patience, consideration, compassion, endurance.
these are not qualities to which we've become accustomed
but it is time to move in close, take a chance, reach out
to the optimism that has been dormant for so many years,
optimism motivated by activism and involvement. today our
president is capable of empowering so many. tomorrow the
empowered will rise up and take responsibility for governance.
the two will become one and the consciousness of one will bring
justice and harmony to a world out of balance.

What Have We Got to Lose?

According to Zev Vilnay, the name "Gaza," from the Arabic Ġazza, originally derives from the Canaanite/Hebrew root for "strong" (ʕZZ), and was introduced to Arabic by way of the Hebrew, ʕazzā, i.e. "the strong one (f.)"; cpr. English stronghold.[2] According to Mariam Shahin, the Canaanites gave Gaza its name, the Ancient Egyptians called it Gazzat ("prized city"), and the Arabs often refer to it as Gazzat Hashim, in honour of Hashim, the great-grandfather of Muhammed, who is allegedly buried in Gaza City, according to Islamic lore.

So much to lose. Too many to die for.

Let's Drop Out, Baby

If ever there was a sign that it's time to make art
the priority, the time is now.

A life inspired.

T'ai Chi, a little contemplation, a spot of tea,
writing, making art, a bit of exercise, an hour to read,
a delightful glass of wine, a cinq a sept, followed by a
delicious culinary adventure and a walk to the beach.

All the days ahead, the rest of our lives,
a love, a life fulfilled.

In a Deeply Troubled World

there is thought strangled,
manipulated and twisted to resemble something.
what? that doesn't matter. it isn't recognizable;
it doesn't exist. we go on and on about the issues
when the issues are dead. the mind is vacant.
the life has gone missing.

is mother dying?

i really can't ignore the plaintive cry of the Long Island Railroad anymore, especially in the middle of the night. and when i lose all patience, lose all sense, lose all focus, not for anything in particular but for the cumulative effect of life itself, i have to admit (unlike my parents) i know nothing. i do know...i know nothing at all.

gimmeabreak

have you noticed how people are really soliciting out there? doesn't matter what they're after--job, security, escape, love, the hereafter. it's all the same. the moment is all we have. if only...

i beg your pardon

we're not talking about belching here, we're talking
about the new president elect. can't obama wait until he's
sanctioned before he has to solve the world's crises ?
no. we're scared. we've had it. we're f--ked. we need to know.
so forget about all those scumbags Bush has pardoned.
let's move on. and up. there's hope in the world.

can the can can?

not sure how to explain what's going on here. it's moving around,
down and out. seeing with blurred vision. the crown, it weighs heavily,
the crown of love, of responsibility, of duty, of vision. the fucking thing
weighs a ton. want to set myself free, ya' know? take off.

hospital holiday

always seems those days are the ones in the emergency room. don't feel right. hot. spaced. having a hard time. who is thinking of me? who am I thinking of? who can I, how can I, think?

i keep saying, why am i still here?
what have you been up to?
no. talking makes me feel more relaxed. makes me feel safe.
what do you mean you have to go?
there's a perfectly good bed in the second room.
a TV, a computer, ice cream, vodka.
what else could you want?
i haven't heard from her in a long time. i keep calling. usually she answers.
i thought, no one would know if something happened to her.
how would anyone know? who would tell us?
what? yeah.
we talked yesterday.
i know. i was talking about today?
who would know? who? tell me who?

why does my world...

seem so skewed, so out of sync, so out of control. we're talking impact not addiction. family not stimulant. when the love is so big there's so much to lose. when the love is so skewed, it's out of control. when the love... the love... love.