no brainer

what is it like to grow old. old beyond your time. older than you ever thought you were capable of being. so old. how can this be? because it's never in the conventional sense. it's not about growing old, it's about being, believing or not. it's about not being afraid of being alone. it's about losing. all that loss. and then, nothing. is that what we're supposed to become accustomed to? no matter how many times, how many ways, how unspeakable, how unpredictable it may be, we'll never get used to it.

why does my world...

seem so skewed, so out of sync, so out of control. we're talking impact not addiction. family not stimulant. when the love is so big there's so much to lose. when the love is so skewed, it's out of control. when the love... the love... love.

conditional love

I shot you and

you shot me

in a wave of violence against humanity

and all we had were pictures to show for it.

I need your shot. You need mine.

I keep wanting to give them up. Yours, I mean.

To say I don’t belong

to these

pictures.

And then…and then…we keep showing up

in them

together.

Despite,

in spite of ourselves.

We keep showing up

to be together,

in spite of ourselves.

We can’t help it;

we can’t recant. is this love?

Is this love?